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Article - 'Mailbag Issue #006' by Faust

An item about Mailbag posted on Aug 8, 2003

Blurb

Faust Hijacks the mailsack and has some jolly old fun, British style!

Body

Ok, Ive read a few of these and laughed my ass off so now its time to enrich the community with my own sense of JUSTICE! Also I decided to do a mailbag. Hopefully Kaze wont fuck me up for dabbling in his turf but…beh. Whahay!?





Ok, start with a story? Hmm. Well heres a FUNNY JOKE OF FUN…or something like that.





Three old ladies walking along the road. A naked guy runs past them. The first one had a stroke, the second one had a stroke. The third one couldn’t reach. Heh. Whahay?





Well nuts to you guys, I thought it was damn funny!!!





…onto the letters.





Help me kind sir!


"Psi" sends me a BRAIN MESSAGE: Is there somewhere besides the forums where we can openly offer/request help? Cause like Ive appealed for MIDI sequencing people a few times now and I thought there could be a better place to do it than the forums.


Response: Well keep trying, or try the music forum. People are bound to help you out if you annoy them enough. Or just steal stuff, whatever.





You guys suck! I’m going home!


"La Virtud" boasts: Why I am know hopelessly making my own rpg creation program: no offense but those other programs stink. Rm2k is good, but its scripting is too limiting, sphere has a lot of scripting power but it needs to be balanced for newbies and its animations use a very exclusive format. Sphere also doesnt have any prepackaged sets unlike rm2k. Rm2k doesnt support custom sets and there can only be one tileset per map. Super Speed GE is like Rm2k except it comes with less prepackaged graphics and uses a very exclusive format for the tilesets. In additon its "power command" has just as many if not more limitations that rm2k programming. And Fury2 is Super Speed GE but worse and undeveloped. There you have it. I am downloading Mozilla and a bunch of other developer applications and I cant program for my life, so wish me good luck on making an rpg making program that is right for everyone.


Response: Great stuff, I wish you luck. Fury2, LiveRPG, TK, ProRPG and some others are already trying to handle these problems so hopefully you wont be a product on a crowded shelf or some shit. Also: Its new users, not newbies





Right on brother! Or something!


"Angroth" Proudly declares: I dont believe it, Ive turned into an article meister!


Response: Damn right angroth, Damn right. We appreciate all submissions and your pieces were of excellent quality. Im touched, but not in a scary homoerotic way (sadly).





Blaze ya dead, homie!


"BlackPowerHomieNegro" gives me nightmares with: How do we protect ourselves from towel stealing white power fat rednecks that are known as kaze? this type of person scared us all out of the irc, and we were about to commit scuicide because the stench from him that followed us was so nasty, and he sleeps with his wife. hang on... you are kaze, arent you? i hope you were drunk ::runs:: btw... um... Im ANTOR_Knight in disguise, but Im really white... so why did I ask this question with such a wierd name. Ill just ask a question that may or may not be simple for you to answer then: why do so many mexicans have an under paid job painting and all hang out in an old white dirty pick-up truck? there are like 200000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 of them in one truck. I wander how it holds so much wieght. Im just wasting space... making you have to read. LALALA! Ok, Im done. Got to school, get an education, and stop scaring us, you WhitePowerFatRedneck!


Response: The hell? Kaze doesn’t smell that bad! His musk is quite enchanting! Fie upon you. Im kaze? No you stupid fool! Can you not see my divine beauty? Somone wants an ass kicking!!! Mexicans in a pick up truck? *sigh* only in America. That’s the American dream isn’t it? By the way: GO AWAY FOREVER!!








Orange Glo is good for what ails ya!


" ANTOR_Knight " makes me fear for the western worlds defence with: When I read the response to my last question in Mailbag Issue #005, I got this really cool idea! I thought that if I put Orange Glo on my finger and inserted in my ear, I would be so cool, and maybe even transform into Super Billy Mays. In the process, I would have blinded Ryan, and he would take away his avatar. But, instead, I got a severe headache and have been having dry-mouth. What should I do?


Response: The hell? There should be another war and people like you should be used as CANNON FODDER! The hell is billy may anyway? Some kind of big fat wrestler/rapper who likes sheep a little too much?





WHAT IS A QUESTION?!!


" Tince" asks a stupid questionWhat kind of question does it take for it to be put in the all mighty mailbag?


Response: One like this? The hell do I know? Im just highjacking this shit for today!





Jesus Saves!!


" I accidently deleted the comment before I got the name sorry" InquiresHow old was the oldest man?


Response: It was Jesus. I think. We celebrate his birthday every damn year. How old is he now anyway? A LOT!





Run! It’s a PERVERT!


" Legacy001" freaks me out with Guess whats in my pocket...!


Response: HELL NO!





Run! It’s a PERVERT!


" Notmekesss” flashes his manboobs and says Hello, I am not Mekesss. GIVE ME BOOZE OR D13! Response: HELLO MEKE!





Ok, maybe not up to the standard you connoisseurs are used to but nuts to y’all! I had fun, except for the miles of crap I had to wade through. The hell is WRONG with you people? Kaze…I’m sorry you have to put up with this ;_;!