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Article - 'Mailbag Issue #015' by Faust

An item about Mailbag posted on Aug 9, 2003

Blurb

Also titled: Faust and the magic ANGST!!! Tu Shundé Baby!

Body

Doing mailbag is damn fun. The only thing I bloody hate is the stupid funny "article" beforehand. The hell do I write about? Bah!

Ok, Moriason suggested doing something about the adventures of Ryan! That was a great idea until I realized that these "adventures" would mostly consist of Ryan calling me a fag and Bart a fatty. NOT very entertaining reading :/. Lil_MrT then logged onto IRC and I thought "Hey, MrT has like a van full of deadbeats who SOLVE CRIMES right? Called the A-TEAM!??!". If that tasteless hack can have a team, then I sure as hell can too!

Unfortunately this plan failed as Bartek and the guys refused to don humourous costumes in an attempt to make people laugh. Stuck up fogets! Bah, I'll tell an anecdote or some shit.

This may seem bitter, but dynastynet made me sad last night ;_;. Moriason (the little scamp) decided to...I don't know actually what he did, but the owner of #laredoheat was pretty pissed about it! I PM'ed the guy for a while, asking him why he was bothering my operators etc, to which he was VERY AGGRESSIVE OMG! When I noticed he was in the room I decided to acknowledge his presence with "IT IS A MEXICAN!!!"! Admittedly I HAD said "Hide your children!" beforehand, but this detail is irrelevant.

Shortly afterwards, a jumped up IRCop (who will remain nameless unless I get bored and let it slip later, which I most probably will) decided to contact me about the incident. 'OH NO', I thought, 'I will be in trouble for...wait, I haven't done anything'. A short conversation followed, with me claiming that #gamemaker is my room and, as such, I can say any damn thing I want in it. Plus "mexican" isn't exactly a racial slur. The operator REFUSED TO BELIEVE THIS, so warned me a few more times. I asked him why he felt the need to bother me over such trivial things, as many operators had ignored complaints of ours along the same lines. S/he responded "It depends on the user". ELITISMTASTIC! I said "ah elitism", to which they responded "Wtf, this conversation is over". Tu Shundé baby!

The #gamemaker goons, the lovable chappies they are, laughed a lot upon hearing the story! Unfortunately somone in the room decided to relay the fact that I was pasting the PM into #gamemaker to the operator in question. The operator, in a fit of RAGE after being proven to be both wrong, unable to concoct an argument and, also, a bit of an ass, decided to use a /kill command on me! Allow me to quote:

"Closing Link: Jesus[host217-34-95-126.in-addr.btopenworld.com] chaos.ma.us.dynastynet.net (Killed ([NAMELESS] (You don't go around this network slandering anyone, not to mention the people that run this place. This is your ONLY warning. Respect people and get respected.)))"

Oh no! I should respect people who come to insult me for no apparant reason, who try to undermine my IRON FIST and also who meddle with the room despite server policy? Stupid I am, yes! Anyway, "run this place" added MORE ELITISM to my claims, so I decided to join #dynasty to COMPLAIN about this blatant abuse!

* You were kicked from #Dynasty by NAMELESS ([NAMELESS])

By the way, if you haven't noticed, I decided to omit the guy/gal's name to "nameless". Why? I DO NOT KNOW!!! Anyway: As you can see, upon my joining of the main server room to submit a complaint, I was banned. ;_;! SILENCED LIKE COMMUNISM or something. Not to worry, I thought, I can always contact a server admin via pm! And so I did.

The end result, after my contacting, was that the oper was entirely in the wrong, had abused his status (fuck this "his/her" crap!) and shouldn't have messed in channel policy. A long rant later, we left it under the assumption that an appology would be recieved by me from the offending operator. NO WAY BABY; didn't happen ;_;. All forgotten, despite the FAUSTHREATS and so on. Ah well; we wont have to suffer them much longer baby! XD Tu Shundé!

Here are a few choice facts:

X13's analysis of the event: "Faust was being racist in #laredoheat, so pb killed him". MY HOW THE FACTS GET DISTORTED!
A TERRIBLE Racist word: "Mexican"
The SECRET end result: The case was put down to "Oper harassment" and it seems as though the kill was legalized! All hail corruption baby!
What this event has led to: The speed up of our "IRC acquisition" process :D!
The IRCop with the BEST name ever: "dave"

Ok, now after that "semi-elitist" mimicry of other site's HATE PAGES and so forth XD, lets go to the MAIL! Yo!

Rights of Conquest
DrFunk writes in to ask: Hey Faust! Are you the now owner of all mail bags? It might be old news, but I only SCAN MAIL BAGS FOR MY NAME WHICH I HAVE YET TO FIND and rarley read news.
A: The hell? You only read shit with your name on it!? ;_;! I am HURT funky, HURT. Never mind though heh. Kaze is still around, but he's busy with his rap group and shit so I'm filling in. Classy yeah? Whahay! QUESTION ANSWERED!


HO HO HO!
Eversoft demands an answer to: What do the GW staffers want for christmas?
A: Ok - DP wants his computer to stop fucking up, Bart wants either Ham or Cheese (ham makes his belly hurt ;_;), Pyrate wants a ticket to a So Solid Crew concert, Alexander wants mansex, RG also wants mansex, Kaze wants something, probably towels, moriason wants to be let out of his cage. No mori, NOT until you make that music >:o!! What do I want? None of your damn business!! Probably money though.


The FUCK!?!?
Mr mr bigglestaff makes me enraged: Dear Mr. Kaze. Why does Faust always steal your mailbag? I think it is very sick. And please be more mean to people!! Like that stupid "chub chub".. he he. And when the hell do we get to know the winner og GWarena name thingy?
A: So...much...rage... Mr Kaze? The fuck? STEAL? Dude... your MOM is very sick. Also she is BETA! (beta start swallowing HAHAH! Classy exploreRPG!!). The fuck is a chub chub by the way? I couldn't understand the last sentance and, seeing as though I just BANNED YOU, you wont be reading it anyway XD!


NO
lithium yet again begs: Faust: Please have my children.
A: I've already explained lithium: I am male and therefore cannot bare your children. I wouldn't ANYWAY dude as you'd be a pretty sucky parent :/. GO AWAY LITHIUM >:O!


LONG message you dull fucker ;_;
AVATAR took a lot of time to write: In mailbag #14, you received a...um, mail thing from AgentX, asking for the hottest males and females. YOU STATED YOU ARE THE MOST MANTASTIC MALE OF GW! You are incorrect, sir. Very incorrect, for I am the most beautiful male of GW. You know it, do not lie to me, or else Ill cancel your lisence to enter the closet. >:O And soon after, you answered a..mail thingy from DEAN-O. You stated your a male. WTF. You are not! You lie. Dirty liar. Anyways, onto lighter notes. I get to play a DIRTY COAL MINER in Socials on friday. Arent I special? Okay, enough useless babbling. I know I had a question..oh yes! Oddly enough, as much as I hear, ive only heard recently of the #gamemaker server change. Would the #gamemaker server be run out of barts house? If so, how would be get power to it? We all know Bart lives in a box, like the hobo he is, and that he uses the internet from a hippie styled internet cafe.
A: Dude, that was long ;_;. Ok: 1) You suck avvy, you are like 20th most mantastic man or something, 2) You are BANNED >:o!!, 3) Coalminer? I UNBAN YOU MY BROTHER! 4) Ok: GW SERVER CHANGE: No, it will NOT be run from Bart's box lol. We, the GW staff, are all OF THE RICH OMG and some of us have decided to buy servers for IRC use. BLiZZ is also coming along for the ride, so we'll have a nice little network ready to go soon. Mekesss wants to host one, but his will be full of porn so I'm debating that ;_;. Anyway, warez, swearing and FUN will be had by all :D! PLUS: You will be allowed to say MEXICAN whenever you want! VIVA LE LIBERATION ARMY! Or some shit.


Oh where oh where has my sphere bitch gone
FQgamer plays a sad violin tune: When did gamingw decide to take out the sphere games? I just now downloaded the engine, and i find them all gone. Where can i find sphere games?
A: The fuck? This is mailbag dude, not "FAUST WILL HELP YOU" corner. Email bart@gamingw.net, or visit our complaints/suggestions forum to ask stuff like this :o! BTW: The Sphere games are gone?! The FUCK?!


Nostalgia
Spawn asks a silly question: Why is bart a cheese pig?!
A: The fuck do I know? I don't control him. He likes cheese a lot and pigs out, but he also likes HAM (which makes his belly hurt ;_;). Also he is SCARY!!!


War of the worlds, yo!
Jag makes my brain hurt with: Which do you think more powerful (not more liked, easy to use, or any other crud, powerful!) as far as game makers?
A: Entirely wrong person to ask Jag. I'm pretty clueless into this "computer" shit heh ;_;. I'd say Gamemaker though currently (if we're talking makers not languages). Either that or Sphere. Both are pretty damn roxor! Go check out the forums for more! Bah...a shitty answer I know...sorry ;-;!!!


Philosophy, YO!
Hornet asks me: What is the meaning of life?
A: You honestly expect an answer to that here? Ok: here are two answers. 1) To please Faust. 2) To not displease Faust by sending in shit like this ;-;! Send in something original and interesting guys!! ;_;!


Beh, ok mailbag today guys. I would have prefered better, but choo know. At least we GET mail and shit ROOFLES CHEAP SHOTS BABY! XDDD