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Article - 'Mailbag Issue #020' by lithium

An item about Mailbag posted on Aug 9, 2003

Blurb

lithium HIJACKS the mailbag! HO NOES!

Body

Sometimes I sit back and wonder why I chose to work for GamingWorld. Then I remember that one night Fasut and Moriason snuck into my apartment, beat the hell out of me, and now I and roped to this chair, doomed to spending the rest of my life serving them and all of their sick and twisted needs. Sometimes, Faust wants me to TIE HIS SHOE!!! That dastardly homosexual.

Anyways, after I had recovered from my beating, I realized that it is all the comedy GOLD that keeps me interested in the RM2K community and before I start the mailbag, I thought I'd share some of those goods with you.

COMEDY GOLD ITEM #1: GamingGroundZero's 67th staff member.

Well, it seems that GGZ's "Register at our boards and become instant staff member" has payed off. On 01-30-2003, GGZ inducted its 67th staff member into it fine circle of workers. You might be asking, what makes this comedy gold? WELL I WILL TELL YOU! The fact remains that GGZ does little work compared to GW, or even rpg2knet and yet has almost 500% more staff than we do. This is a sad, sad world.

COMEDY GOLD ITEM #2: rpg2knet's recent workage that HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH rm2k, or ANY GAMEMAKER AT ALL.

That is right, the (at least) past seven or so (with one actually having to do with rpgs) have had absolutly NOTHING to do with RM2K (or any maker in that matter). rpg2knet is so cool, that it makes you feeling VERY uncool.

COMEDY GOLD ITEM #3: Kazeuri.

This man is just full of laughs. Not only does he boast about being 'untouchable' and on most cases dares Faust or Bart to fire him, but he also threatens the rest of the staff with 'secret projects'.

ACTUAL QUOTE FROM KAZE: It probably seems like I have a huge ego right now, but don't worry, in two days when I unveil my next "project", we'll see who really had the big ego all along.

I think we should all be very scared. Yet, those two days past by almost 5 days ago. AND WHERE IS THAT SECRET PROJECT? COULD IT HAVE BEEN.... BLUFFING? WE WILL SEE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF: "ONE LIFE TO LIVE".

Ah, laughs all around. I now know why I was forcefully restricted to watch 24-hour "Miracle Diet" infomercials and chew on old hubcaps by the AXIS OF EVIL which is Canada, South Africa and Indonesia. They are the axis of COUNTRIES THAT I DON'T LIKE AND EVEN THOUGHT THEY NO WAY RESEMBLE AND AXIS OF ANY KIND, I WILL SAY THAT THEY DO BECAUSE I AM A CRAZY DICTATOR. LIKE SADDAM!

Anyhow, onto the mailbag.

SLiTHS thought he'd 'drop one in':
heh, just thought i might drop one in. basically give it up gamingw becuase rpg2knet is years ahead of you. steal or feautres you can but you can never take out status as number one. And a question why are you all like 14 here.

lithium: Besides the fact that I doubt you are the real SLiTHS, I'd say teh reason why we are all 14 here is because we don't shun away new comers to the rm2k-world but humiliating them in front of all rpg2knet's forum users which is rapidly depleting because your site sucks with much intensity. Plus, you like men.

DON'T INJURE YOURSELF THINKING ABOUT RM2K3

Psi:
Someone told me that he got some anonymous tip that RM2K3 was to be released in English on the 18th March. Do you know if this is true? And why am I so weak? I hurt my neck weightlifting! Ouch!

lithium: I heard it will be released tomarrow. As to why you are so weak, probably because you take anonymous tips from people on weight lifting.

HOPE IT LOST FOR SOME!

Gleason:
How do you get rid of big giant rabbits when they come to kill you and shred to pieces and eat you?

lithium: I suggest psychotherapy.

Won't they ever learn?

the winkler:
What goes on in the Staff Forum? Do you talk about all of us in there? Is this the forum where Bart plots what other site-makers he's going to run over? And from which the Faust launches his hack attacks?
The only topic I saw posted there recently was: "We've Got To Start Being A Bit Nicer..."
Wtf? Just "a bit"?
What's really going on in there??

lithium: Well, for starters - the staff forum is where us STAFF convene to talk about STAFF-related matters. But honestly, it is just filled with a bunch of junk mocking Faust for his gayety. Haha, yep. He is one greasy homosexual.

Nothing like a mailbit that says "BAN ME!"

EverSoft:
When are you going to have a CLASSY mailbag?

lithium: Some people can never be pleased. You know, some of these people work round the clock to keep this site running so that you can come back here and enjoy its resources and interact with its members. Alot of hard work and dedication goes into making sure that you have a safe community to express your creative thoughts in a forum of like-minded people just like you. XDDDDDD ROOFLES. I had you going there for a second. Honestly, I think when Kaze gets fired, classy mailbags are soon to follow.


Mr. Y:
I believe that we, united as the common Americans we are at Gaming World, must declare war on England. Those dirty bastards have bad teeth, and they still have a queen. I mean, a QUEEN, in THIS DAY AND AGE. My friend, we must conquer these English savages and teach them such things as morales, democracy, and the electric stove. Are you with me?!

lithium: NO... and you're fired.

Kazeuri:
I like little chlidren. And cocks!

Guest Mailbag Reply by Faust:
THAT IS VERY NICE KAZE!!!

Well, that is all from me. Didn't like this mailbag? Thought it was a lump of trash? GOOD, that was what I was shooting for.