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Article - 'DalNET Adventures Yolindo and SB, #1!' by Guest

An item about Humour posted on Jan 14, 2004

Blurb

Mr. Y and Senior Behemoth delve into that wretched scum hole that be uttered "Dal... NEHT". Beware, stupid sexual references abound!

Body

DalNet is a... magical place, where anti-socials from across the English-speaking world gather to find love. None of these people consider the thought that they can make ANY fantasy similar to DalNET come true just as easily with any simple text editor, even something like Notepad! But hey hey, not everyone can think of it that way, right? This is the first of what can hopefully become an extensive number of journeys into DalNET by myself and the ingenius Senior Behemoth! We'll be having a competition to see who among Senior Behemoth and I is the better DalNET exploiter! Let's begin!

Yolindo's Runs!


Yolindo = beuatiful_eyes


ANMLLVR



(beuatiful_eyes) a/s/l please?
(anmllvr) not much and im 19/m/usa
(beuatiful_eyes) cool
(anmllvr) what u up to ?
(beuatiful_eyes) i was doing some homework, but i decided to do something else
(beuatiful_eyes) i hate reading
(anmllvr) hehe yea not to fun for me eather
(beuatiful_eyes) neways, u said your into kinky stuff. u wanna cyber?
(anmllvr) sure what kind of kinky stuff u like?
(beuatiful_eyes) well
(beuatiful_eyes) i am into a bit of a sadist
(beuatiful_eyes) so
(anmllvr) thats cool i have a friend thats into that
(anmllvr) u have a pic?
(beuatiful_eyes) i'll have to find it, but sure. i have a friend hostign it for me
(beuatiful_eyes) but do u really care?
(beuatiful_eyes) i just want to get started
(anmllvr) na dont mater to much hehe. you like any anal stuff?
(beuatiful_eyes) not really. ive got an idea tho to begin, okay?
(anmllvr) ok :)
(beuatiful_eyes) alright
(beuatiful_eyes) pretend you have a gun, okay? then, shoot me somewhere erotic
(anmllvr) humm ok i think i know where ill aim for
(beuatiful_eyes) ??
* anmllvr shoots u in the right tit
(beuatiful_eyes) ooh
(beuatiful_eyes) shit
(beuatiful_eyes) no, im bleeding
(beuatiful_eyes) shit
(beuatiful_eyes) okay, u have to kill me
* beuatiful_eyes trys to run away
(anmllvr) where would u like it
(beuatiful_eyes) how about in the plethoris? that is below my left assbone
* anmllvr shoots u in the middle of your back
(beuatiful_eyes) my ass is not between my shoulders tho
(anmllvr) i was going to say in the ass but decided not to but that works too
(beuatiful_eyes) okay
* beuatiful_eyes cries out in pain
(beuatiful_eyes) r u there?

freemen4n



(freemen4n) you still on?
(beuatiful_eyes) kinda
(beuatiful_eyes) u wanna quickie
(beuatiful_eyes) ?
(freemen4n) a quickie?
(freemen4n) oh my god
(freemen4n) i'm in love
(beuatiful_eyes) okay
(beuatiful_eyes) but u know
(beuatiful_eyes) u can't really love me
(beuatiful_eyes) i am like a flower
(beuatiful_eyes) n e ways
(freemen4n) yes
(freemen4n) so a long term relationship is out???
(beuatiful_eyes) yehuh
(beuatiful_eyes) i am dating a guy from iraq
(beuatiful_eyes) whiile, he is in iraqw
(beuatiful_eyes) he is in the army
(freemen4n) i'll fall in love with you then you will leave
(freemen4n) he is?
(beuatiful_eyes) yeah
(freemen4n) he'll be ok
(freemen4n) it's over now
(beuatiful_eyes) but what if he steps on a land mind?
(freemen4n) oh god, don't say that!
(freemen4n) dont' even think it
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(freemen4n) so what did you mean by a quickie?
(beuatiful_eyes) well
(freemen4n) you must be lonely without your guy
(freemen4n) its ok
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(beuatiful_eyes) i thought we could cuddle, then rub each others hair abit. also, halfway thru i will need to make a midnite run to the bathroom, because i have a small bladder
(freemen4n) i'd love to see your eyes
(freemen4n) would it be inappropriate to ask for a pic?
(freemen4n) i promise to send it right back
(freemen4n) lol
(freemen4n) you're busy?
(freemen4n) thought you were sending a pic
(beuatiful_eyes) i would, but i am afraid that you'll find out where i live
(freemen4n) how the heck could i do that?
(beuatiful_eyes) my friend bart told me that people can find out that stuff with images
(beuatiful_eyes) like
(freemen4n) and do you think i'd stalk you??
(freemen4n) i'm afraid i'm not that smart
(beuatiful_eyes) your right
(beuatiful_eyes) im sorry
(freemen4n) so plz send?
(beuatiful_eyes) ill give u a link
(freemen4n) don't bother hun....didn't think it was such a big deal....sorry
(beuatiful_eyes) hang on!
(beuatiful_eyes) man your impacient
(freemen4n) lol
(beuatiful_eyes) 7http://www.today.ucla.edu/assets/images/devon2.jpg
(freemen4n) we're probably in different countries
(beuatiful_eyes) there u go
(beuatiful_eyes) maybe?
(freemen4n) i'm in usa
(beuatiful_eyes) ah. germany
(freemen4n) gimme a minute to see link k?
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry, i've got to go

(RUN, HE IS GETTING CONNECTED)

GORDBRODY



(gordbrody) uh heya
(beuatiful_eyes) hi
(beuatiful_eyes) can i call u gordy?
(beuatiful_eyes) gordy is a cute name, it makes me hott
(gordbrody) hehe
(gordbrody) yeah, sure why not
(beuatiful_eyes) okay
(gordbrody) so whereabouts are you ?
(beuatiful_eyes) whereabouts, that is so smart, *blushj
(beuatiful_eyes) i am from maine
(beuatiful_eyes) i live near steven king
(gordbrody) how about that
(gordbrody) how old are you ?
(beuatiful_eyes) 16, but i am really mature
(gordbrody) cool
(gordbrody) you want to talk on the phone ?
(beuatiful_eyes) no
(beuatiful_eyes) i am pregnant, you could catch it
(gordbrody) oh well
(gordbrody) uh yeah
(gordbrody) fucking douche
(gordbrody) later.
(beuatiful_eyes) ok

IN_SEARCH



(in_search) hi b eyes
(in_search) like to chat
(in_search) asl plz
(beuatiful_eyes) NO, NOT UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY REACH FOR THAT SHIFT BUTTON, MISTER
(in_search) ok
(in_search) so what is to be donr
(beuatiful_eyes) Well, go onto DynastyNET, join #gamemaker, tell everyone in 10 different ways why my eyes are beautiful, and then we will make hot love.
(beuatiful_eyes) I like dedicated men.
(in_search) sexy?????
(beuatiful_eyes) Okay, that will do.
(in_search) fine
(in_search) ru hairy
(beuatiful_eyes) what?
(beuatiful_eyes) no, i am american
(in_search) ok
(in_search) so americans r not hairy???
(in_search) lol
(beuatiful_eyes) nah
(beuatiful_eyes) except for my friend's mom
(in_search) why
(in_search) hows she
(in_search) hey?????????????????????
(in_search) cld u describe her
(beuatiful_eyes) sure
(in_search) ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
(in_search) ru there
(in_search) busy???
(in_search) tell me abt u friends mom plz
(beuatiful_eyes) why?
(beuatiful_eyes) i thought u wanted to fantacise about me
(in_search) u said she somethingdiff
(in_search) can u tel me
(beuatiful_eyes) no, she is married sir
(in_search) ok
(in_search) so abt u
(in_search) like ever tried sex

(RUN, AGAIN, HE IS FREAKY MAN)

SAIRANO



(sairano) hi
(beuatiful_eyes) hayhay
(sairano) he asl
(beuatiful_eyes) 18/f/enghlish
(sairano) ok u name'
(beuatiful_eyes) what?
(beuatiful_eyes) r u a sexual pervent?
(sairano) you mean ?
(beuatiful_eyes) well i dunno, i wanna be safe, but i like getting raped two
(beuatiful_eyes) it is a sigbn of manual power
(beuatiful_eyes) okay
(sairano) ok
(sairano) u name
(beuatiful_eyes) 'penny smallskirtty'
(sairano) ok my name amar
(sairano) what you do
(sairano) i mean student
(beuatiful_eyes) oh
(beuatiful_eyes) i am a scientist
(sairano) oh very good
(beuatiful_eyes) well not really, but im going to be
(sairano) ok what you search
(beuatiful_eyes) Your search - penny smallskirtty - did not match any documents.
(beuatiful_eyes) it didn't work?
(sairano) ok
(beuatiful_eyes) oh, wait
(sairano) why
(beuatiful_eyes) well
(beuatiful_eyes) i went to google
(beuatiful_eyes) and typed that in
(beuatiful_eyes) it didn't work!
(sairano) ok
(sairano) you are so intrest
(beuatiful_eyes) thanQ
(sairano) ok i am student
(sairano) of comerce
(sairano) hello
(sairano) are u thee
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry
(beuatiful_eyes) i was on the can
(beuatiful_eyes) #2
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry
(sairano) ok want friend ship with me
(beuatiful_eyes) no i am a lone wolf
(sairano) why
(sairano) i want friend ship with you
(sairano) because you so sweat speaking
(sairano) and thinking
(beuatiful_eyes) thanQ, but no
(sairano) ok

SSSSSS



(ssssss) hi
(beuatiful_eyes) hi
(beuatiful_eyes) a/s/l?
(ssssss) 18 f
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry, i am f too
(beuatiful_eyes) but r u into snakes?
(beuatiful_eyes) or, lesbian? i swing the club both ways, u know
(ssssss) wht mean it
(ssssss) i like lesbian
(beuatiful_eyes) i didnt say i was lesbian
(beuatiful_eyes) i swing the club both ways, u know (-- that just means i am trysexual
(beuatiful_eyes) like in that one movie
(beuatiful_eyes) but
(beuatiful_eyes) r u still here?
(beuatiful_eyes) hey, come back
(beuatiful_eyes) please???
(ssssss) ok carry on
(beuatiful_eyes) alright
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry ab/t that
(ssssss) ok carry on man
(beuatiful_eyes) wait
(ssssss) r u mor f
(beuatiful_eyes) 18/f/usa
(beuatiful_eyes) i am f
(ssssss) ok start
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(ssssss) hurry up
(beuatiful_eyes) alright
(ssssss) ur turn is 1
* beuatiful_eyes coughs snot on ssssss' hair, "Oops", and gets a comb. he is naked
(ssssss) ok r u interested in lesbian
(beuatiful_eyes) mayb
(beuatiful_eyes) i thought that was what we were doing
(ssssss) u start
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(ssssss) r u naked
(beuatiful_eyes) no, but i am wearing jeans, they are tighht around my ankles
(beuatiful_eyes) they hurt
(beuatiful_eyes) i'll take them off
(beuatiful_eyes) ok, lets start
(ssssss) who were they
(beuatiful_eyes) the jeans?
(ssssss) ok wht i do now
(beuatiful_eyes) let me handle it, baby
(ssssss) suppose u r man
(beuatiful_eyes) no, i am a lady
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(beuatiful_eyes) ?
(ssssss) in this process
(beuatiful_eyes) i am still a lady here
(beuatiful_eyes) sorry for the confusion
(ssssss) to play with me this time
(beuatiful_eyes) alright
(ssssss) start hurry
(ssssss) hi
* beuatiful_eyes hugs ssssss and licks her hand palms, then rubs her fourth two. courchs up more plhegm on her tummy, tho
(ssssss) ok i want to go
(beuatiful_eyes) ok
(beuatiful_eyes) peace
(ssssss) ok bye
(ssssss) ok

Senior Behemoth's Runs!


SB = [bigcoke], hotqueen69


SHARKY



([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) hehe
([bigcoke]) ([bigcoke]) want 2 cyber? if u no wut i mean :)
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) well i dont have a webcam
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) :(
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) sorry
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) thanx for hte offer though
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) :)
([bigcoke]) ([bigcoke]) man
([bigcoke]) ([bigcoke]) no way
([bigcoke]) (Sharky_) ?
([bigcoke]) ([bigcoke]) too bad i was a man anyways, and my e-penis was 8========================D~~~~

WHEEZE



[00:35] (hotqueen69) yes
[00:35] (Weeze) can u give me your photos
[00:35] (hotqueen69) yes
[00:36] (Weeze) thanx
[00:36] (Weeze) is it hot too
[00:37] (hotqueen69) kewl
[00:38] (Weeze) oh yeah
[00:39] (Weeze) i cant see your photos
[00:39] (Weeze) its all blank
[00:43] (Weeze) halooo
[00:43] (hotqueen69) hey?
[00:43] (hotqueen69) that's cuz ur a gaymo
[00:44] (Weeze) can u send me back one more time
[00:44] (Weeze) plz
[00:44] (Weeze) oh no
[00:44] (Weeze) im normal
[00:44] (Weeze) im just want to see u naked

SAIRANO, AGAIN



[00:33] (sairano) hi
[00:38] (sairano) hello
[00:38] (hotqueen69) hey
[00:38] (sairano) asl plz
[00:39] (hotqueen69) ok 12/f/canada
[00:39] (sairano) 12?
[00:40] (hotqueen69) yes
[00:40] (hotqueen69) u want 2 do me?
[00:40] (sairano) ya
[00:41] (hotqueen69) how old r u?
[00:42] (sairano) 20
[00:42] (sairano) why
[00:42] (sairano) why you ask
[00:42] (hotqueen69) 20? You sick fucking bastard, you want to fuck a 12 year? Old? That's disgusting good sir! You must be SPANISH.
[00:44] (sairano) dear you like my little sister
[00:44] (sairano) your mind is so bad
[00:44] (sairano) you write you want to do me
[00:44] (sairano) and i like you is like little sister
[00:44] (sairano) ok
[00:47] (sairano) hello
[00:47] (sairano) what you decided
[00:51] (sairano) hello 12 yaer dool
[00:52] (sairano) doll
[00:52] (hotqueen69) yes? I still think you are a fucktard for wanting to screw a person 8 years younger than you
[00:55] (sairano) sorry
[00:55] (hotqueen69) You should be
[00:55] (sairano) you not you understand
[00:55] (hotqueen69) Why?
[00:55] (hotqueen69) Is it...love?
[00:55] (hotqueen69) Could it be?
[00:56] (sairano) not

GUEST58362



[00:23] (hotqueen69) yes
[00:23] (Guest58362) same her
[00:23] (hotqueen69) i luv 69 that y its in my name 8-)
[00:23] (Guest58362) here
[00:24] (Guest58362) do u have a pic
[00:24] (hotqueen69) might
[00:24] (Guest58362) send it to me
[00:24] (hotqueen69) ok
[00:25] (Guest58362) are u
[00:25] (hotqueen69) finding it
[00:28] (Guest58362) u find it
[00:29] (Guest58362) ????
[00:29] (hotqueen69) im the one on the right
[00:29] (Guest58362) thanks
[00:30] (Guest58362) which one
[00:30] (hotqueen69) sorry, the one on the LEFT
[00:31] (Guest58362) still which one
[00:31] (hotqueen69) The leftern most one
[00:31] (Guest58362) the first one on the left
[00:31] (Guest58362) blue eyes
[00:31] (Guest58362) orangey hair
[00:31] (hotqueen69) yes
[00:32] (Guest58362) i like
[00:32] (hotqueen69) ok want 2 cyber?
[00:32] (Guest58362) sure
[00:33] (hotqueen69) ok u start
[00:33] (Guest58362) no u
[00:33] (hotqueen69) ok
[00:34] * hotqueen69 walks towards you sexily
[00:34] * hotqueen69 undoes her pants
[00:35] (hotqueen69) wut do u do?
[00:35] (Guest58362) i grab your body and place u on th bed
[00:35] (Guest58362) i undo my pants
[00:36] (Guest58362) and take your pantiees off
[00:36] * hotqueen69 screams WHOOPS! and accidently drops a pot of skulding hot water on you! Sorry ;_;
[00:36] (Guest58362) i slowly suck your pussy
[00:36] (Guest58362) making u wet
[00:36] (Guest58362) u go
[00:37] (hotqueen69) i did i droped some hot water on u and now ur burning and im apologising
[00:37] (hotqueen69) ok so now we can sex
[00:38] (Guest58362) good
[00:38] (Guest58362) keep on going
[00:38] (hotqueen69) ok
[00:38] * hotqueen69 starts to fondle ur hair
[00:39] (Guest58362) then
[00:39] * hotqueen69 is shocked by your sexyness and flies back. UR HAIR IS GONE IN MY HAND
[00:40] (hotqueen69) SORRY LETS HAVE SEX NOW
[00:40] (Guest58362) k
[00:41] (Guest58362) go
[00:41] (hotqueen69) ok
[00:42] * hotqueen69 walks towards you sexily but all the sudden when i sex you, a LARGE WALRUS charges through my bedroom, chopping off ur e-penis.
[00:42] (Guest58362) this is stupid now
[00:43] (hotqueen69) no
[00:43] (Guest58362) yyes
[00:44] (hotqueen69) wanna bet? this is sex the way I like it
[00:44] (Guest58362) ok
[00:44] (Guest58362) then keep on going
[00:45] (Guest58362) go already
[00:46] (hotqueen69) No you fucktard. You said that a walrus during sex was stupid!
[00:46] (Guest58362) it was not
[00:46] (hotqueen69) Ok
[00:46] (Guest58362) it was just weird to hear that
[00:46] (hotqueen69) so we were having sex
[00:47] (hotqueen69) ....
[00:47] (hotqueen69) and a PORPUSE CUMS IN
[00:47] (Guest58362) yes
[00:47] (Guest58362) a waht
[00:47] (Guest58362) what
[00:47] (hotqueen69) DID U KNOW THAT A DOLPHINS EJACUATW CAN DECAPITATE YOU? YOU SIR ARE HEADLESS
[00:47] (Guest58362) can we just get fucking each other
[00:48] (hotqueen69) No, not until 13 differant sea animals cum and inturupt us 8-))))
[00:48] (Guest58362) k
[00:49] (hotqueen69) ok
[00:49] (hotqueen69) so now we have the sea lion
[00:49] (hotqueen69) and he starts 2 screw u in the ass
[00:50] (hotqueen69) and then the sea cucumber
[00:50] (Guest58362) why would there be a sea cumber
[00:50] (hotqueen69) because i like sex this way
[00:50] (hotqueen69) with marine lifwe
[00:50] (Guest58362) k
[00:50] (Guest58362) why arent u getting any
[00:52] (hotqueen69) because i smeelll like salt
[00:53] (Guest58362) ic

HORNY21M



[23:46] ([bigcokc]) hey a/s/l
[23:47] (Horny21m) 22/m/usa
[23:48] ([bigcokc]) im 19/f/canada
[23:48] (Horny21m) ahh interesting nick for a f ;)
[23:49] ([bigcokc]) it's 'cause i like coke and my nick is a typo ^_^
[23:49] (Horny21m) ahhh I see
[23:50] ([bigcoke]) see all better
[23:51] ([bigcoke]) so wanna cyber?/
[23:51] (Horny21m) sure
[23:51] ([bigcoke]) ok
[23:51] ([bigcoke]) u start
[23:52] ([bigcoke]) but hurry cuz my dad mite catch me :(
[23:53] ([bigcoke]) omg i will start if u do not hurry i need this quick sex :(

CRUSH102



[00:52] (crush102) a bad guy really
[00:52] (crush102) can we chat ?)
[00:53] (hotqueen69) No, fuck off.
[00:54] (crush102) ok bitch u

YAKUZA!?!



[23:41](_Yakuza_) 23 m here looking for any small breasted and/or redheaded girls that want to chat, msg me
[23:42] ([bigcokc]) asl
[23:42] ([bigcokc]) im a redhead u no
[23:43] ([bigcokc]) with small tits 8-)
[23:44] ([bigcokc]) no?
[23:44] ([bigcokc]) ok
[23:45] ([bigcokc]) is it because i am a man?

THE WINNER: SENIOR BEHEMOTH


No matter the number of people I interviewed on DalNET, I couldn't help the feeling that SB was simply a classier champion. However, I will hone my technique and destroy his someday, yes I will! That's all the logs for today, so long Eurasia!