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Article - 'PEANUTBUTTAR N JELLAY SANDWICH' by KirbyMario

An item about Humour posted on Mar 2, 2004

Blurb

Teh MAEN KirbyMario Explains to us the precise methods of the complex task of designing and constructing the greatest marvel of engineering in history.

Body

How to make a PB&J Sanwich

Part 1: Getting the supplies

Ok, then. Today, I will teach you all how to make a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich. Yay. Ok, then. You might think this is simple, but
it's more complicated than you think. First of all, you would need
some peanut butter. Go to the nearest store, and ask for some. If
they have none, sue them. Go plant some peanuts, if they don't have
any. When you finally obtain some peanut butter, next, you would need
some jelly. I'm not sute where the hell jelly comes from, though.
You'd better go to the supermarket for that. If you can't find any,
use the alternative. Go into the ocean and find some jellyfish. I'm
not sure if jellyfish make jelly, but there's the word "Jelly" in
their names, so they must have SOMETHING to do with jelly. It may take
HOURS to find a jellyfish, considering how big the ocean actually is.
But once you find one, bring it up, and kill it. After killing it,
extract the jelly from the "fish" and put it in a jar or something.
And next, you need some bread. Again, you should go to the supermarket
for that stuff. And finally, you would need a knife. Now, this is not
easy to get, as it requires a lot of patience. You have to wait in your
house for a murderer to come by. When you find one, steal his knife,
if he's carrying one. If he has a gun, you're dead. After stealing
the knife, you have all the neccessary materials needed. Ok then.
Now you need to find a table to make the sandwich on. After locating
the table, set up your materials.

Part 2: Making the sandwich
1. Take out the bread.
2. Figure the rest out yourself

Ok! Now you're done with the sandwich. Now for the last step.

Part 3: Eating
I assume that you know how to eat. If not, you're a dumbass. Ok, I'll
explain it.

1. Put part of the sandwich in your mouth.
2. Bite the sandwich.
3. Swallow.
4. Repeat steps 1 to 3 until there is no sandwich left.

And that's it! You have finished eating your sandwich. Feel proud
of yourself.