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Article - 'NWCS2K4' by jokeofweek

An item about Humour posted on Nov 14, 2004

Blurb

JokeOfWeek Productions has developed the ultimate operating system!

Body



Radio Interview-NWCS 2K4

Radio Ad Guy: Hello gentlemen and ladies! Today, we have a special guest,JokeOfWeek.Joke is here to speak to you about the new computer software, NWCS2K4, presented to you by JokeOfWeek Productions!

JokeOfWeek:Hello, this is JokeOfWeek (Founder of JokeOfWeek Productions) speaking to you. After many years (7 to be exact!), JokeOfWeek Productions has created the ultimate computer software! NWCS 2K4 (New World Computing Software 2004) is the newest (and first) creation of JokeOfWeek Productions. This computing software uses the latest technology (Meaning the best technology that JokeOfWeek Productions could afford). Finally, after all those boring years of stupid, pointless rivalry between Apple and Microsoft, they will have to unite their companies to even have a chance in rivaling NWCS 2K4. This software allows the user to open any programs (Mac-only, Windows-Only, etc.). Finally, the first computer that’s not woefully inadequate like Mac, or too technological like Windows, because both those companies made all the programs only usable by their computers (For example: Mac programs can only be opened on Macintosh computers).

After five years of beta-testing, researching, and developing, the NWCS2K4 software will be available at a puny price of 1.5 million dollars…US! Please read the fine print at the bottom of this advertisement before you buy this software. Also, we warn you that the software comes installed with a filed named “hack_jowp_weownzyu. VIRUS. Systemfile”. DO NOT DELETE THIS FILE. I REPEAT, DO NOT DELETE IT BECAUSE IT IS AN “IMPORTANT SYSTEM FILE” (Actually, it’s a virus that lets us go into your computer) THAT RUNS YOUR COMPUTER AND IF YOU DELETE IT, YOUR COMPUTER WILL CRASH AND NEVER EVER WORK AGAIN!!! Also, a program named JoWp Anti-Anti-Virus. This program will save your computer from harmless anti-virus programs (Actually, we just don’t want you to find out that you’re computer is filed with viruses!).

Also, check out our website. You can go to the shop and order our first “real” software that is only usable by “JokeOfWeek Productions” computers! It is called Inter-Surfer, which is the newest Internet browser (The speed of it is slower than the speed of a dead caterpillar!). If you order it, you will receive the Install CD in 5-6 years. The price is 59.99$ US plus 100.99$US for Shipping & Handling. Once you get the CD, put it in your CD Drive. A pop-up will... pop-up... asking you what you wish to do. Click on the Install button and wait for the installation screen. At the beginning, you are asked where you wish to install the program. If you do not change it, it will automatically install in the Folder “Hackable Files Filled With Viruses”. If you have under the recommended speed, it will take 12 Hours to install, if you have over the recommended speed, it will take 14 hours to install!

Warning!Warning! If you phone our number in the next 10 minutes and you order NWCS2K4, you will get the Inter-Surfer “Filled With Viruses” version for free! Plus, you’ll get a price reduction of 10 cents!

Remember that NWCS2K4 is the best and it can use any program from any computer. Following are some of the comments from our beta testers:

Remember to try it out. It’s the best choice that you’ll NEVER make!
JokeOfWeek Productions
1-800-NWCS-2K4
50 Loser Street, Hacker Nation, Appartment # 99990


Note: You need the following requirements on your computer to install NWCS2k4: 100 GHz,56 GHz of RAM, Billions Of Colours, A 50 inch screen and extreme high speed internet. Beware that if NWCS does not work because you have a crappy computer, we shall not take it back!

NWCS2K4 is copyrighted by JokeOfWeek Productions 2oo4-2oo5 and if anyone steals the name NWCS or 2K4 or someone copies one of the letters in this advertisement, we shall sue you for –5$ (meaning we pay you) per letter and –100$ per word AND we shall personally come over to your house and behead you…JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE BEHEADING,WE’LL JUST CUT YOUR ARM OFF!

Also, NWCS2K4 is only available to smart people, so if you’re IQ is under 199, then we will not send you back the computer or your money! And if you try bypassing our IQ Finder system, we shall not sue you!