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Article - 'Kermit' by kermit the toad

An item about Humour posted on May 31, 2005

Blurb

Kermit gives you chapter one of the new community story he is writing!

Body

It was a sad day, the day Suki died. If there were weather on the internet, Gaming World would have been covered by the blackest of clouds, and drenched in the heaviest of rains. Instead, for most GWers, the weather didn't match the mood. Sunny days were ruined by the sombreness of the recent computer explosion, somewhere in Florida. Sunny days, it seemed, were the universe's idea of a cruel joke: perfect beach weather, on the day Turkpimp was killed by Doug Beach.

Unfortunately, there was little time for mourning. GW was in danger. Ninjas, probably hired by Doug Beach, were getting ready to strike. Normally, this would be no big deal, someone would tell Fatty to go fight the ninjas, and he would defeat them. Unfortunately, Fatty was absent, having gone to track and kill Doug Beach. What would GW do, in the absence of her greatest warrior?

The question was soon answered, however, when Bartek "Polski" Gniado drove into GW headquarters with a dead ninja on the hood of his car. GW had a new champion, and the champion had a car. Of course, the ease with which Bart was able to kill ninjas with his car made some people suspect that the Froz Incident of 2001 had not been an accident after all. But, having proven himself an excellent ninja-killer, no one bothered to re-accuse Bart of vehicular-manslaughter. A few minutes later, the parking lot at GW HQ was empty, everyone having gone inside to celebrate Bart's heroism.

After several hours of beer drinking, and crack smoking, Bart and the GW Staff team decided that something must be done to make sure that Doug Beach was unable to kill anymore GWers. In a live television broadcast, on GWTV, May was declared Exploding Computer Awareness Month. The message was simple: if your computer starts smoking, run!!! And so it was, the GW was safe from Doug Beach and his ability to make computers explode--at least until the month of May ended, and everyone forgot the importance of running away if your computer starts smoking.

TO BE CONTINUED... (Go here to vote for the next chapter.)