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Article - 'Big Foget Update' by GaZZwa

An item about Humour posted on Aug 8, 2003

Blurb

A Big Brother parody with Bart, RPGoddess, Lord Gremlian, Senior Behemoth, DarkPriest and RPG.

Body

Big Foget Update

The housemates:

Bartek Gniado
RPGoddess
Senior Behemoth
Lord Gremlian
DarkPirest
RPG

After being in the Big Foget house for merely a week, the housemates are beginning to show some weaknesses. Both war and love have bloomed in the house and everybody is holding their breath and wondering who will be evicted from the house first.

After just 10 minutes of entering the house, Bart and Senior Behemoth got into an argument over who was god (Bart being the Cheese God and Senior Behemoth the God). Starting out as a verbal argument, the fight ballooned into a full blown mud fight after Senior Behemoth insulted Bart’s haircut. The other housemates made a small arena for them and circled them whilst chanting. The two fighters have not spoken to eachother since the fight and are sure to be rivals until one of them is voted out of the house. We predict that fans will split themselves into two groups – followers of Bart or “Gniado’s” and followers of Senior Behemoth, or “weirdo’s”.

The other housemates have kept Bart and Senior Behemoth to themselves, and have enjoyed sharing a manner of tasks. RPGoddess was instructed by Big Foget to teach DarkPriest how to eat a teabag in under 10 seconds, who in return had to teach RG the art of taking a sauna whilst creating death metal songs. Lord Gremlian was instructed to teach RPG the ways of the Englishman and RPG’s task was to cook the housemates a hotmog – which he failed complaining that “I didn’t have enough ******* moogles!”

Yesterday, the housemates were instructed to act like a given video game character for a day. LG spent the day attempting to build a city, Senior Behemoth spent his time “flying” around the house pretending to be a fighter jet and Bart crept behind the sofa all day in complete silence, uttering to anyone who passed to beware of the C4 he planted in the bedrooms. RPGoddess who refused to act like her designated character, King Louis from The Jungle Book has been crowned the “bitch” of the house before even the first week has passed. She has however seemed to take a liking to DarkPriest who tried to escape from the house after being given the character “Monty the Mole”. Burrowing a network of tunnels under the house and under the Northern sea, over to his native Finland with a toothpick, DarkPriest got as far as 5 centimetres under the ground before he was spotted and forced to give up. Says RPGoddess of DP’s renegade actions “I didn’t want him to go…well I did because then I wouldn’t have to listen to that death metal anymore.”

Bart however has been smelling of mud ever since the fateful mud fight. Too frightened to go in the shower in case Senior Behemoth attacks him, Bart has made a compound in his room and is staying there with a pile of cheese, no matter what anybody does to try and make him come out. It seems as though the cheese may have got to him however, because the footage we have filmed is “scarier than the Exorcist with better vomiting”.

Lord Gremlian was called up to speak to Big Foget just 10 minutes ago. When asked what he thought of the cameras watching him all the time he replied “There are cameras in this place?” What followed was a long explanation of Big Foget’s part about the television series that Lord Gremlian had entered himself into. After a moments silence LG replied “Oh, I thought it was a beach party.”

Join us next time for more Big Foget updates and see who will become evicted from the house first.


-- GaZZwa